Andy Roddick.

June 25, 2010

I was nervous about today, Kohls has always been a threat to me in terms of being an opponent of Andy after a fateful Australian Open match that made me against Kohls fo’ life. Although, I do absolutely adore his serve. It is ridiculous.

I know I come across as somebody who likes players only for their looks. For the most case, yes, that is true. But Andy Roddick is different. He’s the reason I follow tennis, he’s the only player who’s progression I truly care about. And I mean really care, some may say too much. After two years of watching almost every ATP tournament, streamed online, on TV, anywhere, I completely stopped altogether after Wimbledon 2009. It was too much.

That being said, I can’t help the fact that the boy has a fabulous booty.

Andy's got back.

Like two Pringles hugging.

Actual curvature. I stared at this one for longer than most.

Andy's got actual back and shoulders, too.

With added trademark Andy side tongue.

It's really quite... defined.

Andy's got front.


Tennis is the ultimate spectator sport.


We liked Isner before you did.

June 25, 2010

I just had to let this out. Rachael especially, liked Isner way before that match. And all this Mohamed Layhani love? Bitch please, who do you think this blog is NAMED AFTER?

Perhaps I’m just angry because at around 68 games all, or 68-69, I thought to myself ‘jeez, I need a cigarette, this is going to go on forever. will just go now.’
As I walked back into my flat, I could hear the cheering coming from my living room and Isner’s smile lighting up my television.
Yeah. That’s right. I missed it.

I'm dead small. Queen's Club 2008.

Rachael's a bit taller. Nipple height at least.

Can I also add, if this post sounds a bit bitter, I am half joking. Obviously so unbelievably pleased for John Isner and the amount of recognition and new fans he’ll have now is 100% deserved.

If you’re not already, follow him on Twitter @johnisnertennis.

The many faces of Julien Benneteau.

June 24, 2010

Bet you thought he only had one.

"This is my 'you want some, come and get it' face."

"This is my 'one day, this will all be mine...' face."

"This is my concentration face."

"This is my annoyed face."

"This is my scared face."

"This is my 'you wish you had a slave' face."

"This is my 'I know you're checkin' out my hot bod but I'm pretending I haven't noticed' face."

"This is my pleased face."

"This is my pensive face."

"This is my angry face. Grrrrrr."

"This is my 'have you seen how hot my brother is?' face."

"These are our 'we will FUCK YOU UP' faces."

"These are our 'BFF4EVAAAA!' faces."

Good day to be French.

June 23, 2010

I mean, not so much if you’re a football fan, so I’ve heard. But if you’re into tennis then you’re doing well.

I have to admit, today… I was bored. We were absolutely spoiled yesterday with exciting five setters and the near upset of Federer. Today was exactly what you would expect from the second day at SW19.

Today was an epic display of why I, now, brace yourselves, this is brand new shocking information, absolutely adore Julien Benneteau.

Ok the photo totally squashed, but WHAT IT SAYS IS, that Jules painfully lost the first two sets, and I accepted defeat. But wait, he WON the next two? Oh Benny, that’s what I like to see, now just do that one more time and we’re sorted. Oh, hold on a second, yeah okay, just get broken. No really man that’s cool, at 2-4 down, you’ve got this in the bag. No, you don’t, you’ve lost it, you FOOL. Oh wait, you broke back? Ok, cheers mate. Oh, nice hold. Hold on, another break? Um, and a hold to love to win the match?
Oh Benny, stop being such a tease.

No seriously dude, stop it.

 Bad news of the day was losing both Blake AND Bagdhatis. Baghdatis. I can never remember the order of the h’s and d’s and stuff in his name. Whatevz.
Good news of tomorrow is that Andy Roddick is on Centre Court and defending “champion”, Roger Federer, is on Court 1. Fantastic. He plays Llodra at 1pm, so quite frankly, I am excited. I can’t even remember who else is playing tomorrow, it’s all about Roddick.

Oh and the French thing was also because super sexy Jeremy Chardy also advanced today, as did Tsonga. Wait, did he? I think he did. I am a terrible tennis fan.

Tennis perfection. Sort of. Not really though.

Not gremlin-y at all.

I do love a good approach shot.

June 21, 2010

Well the day started off well, with my ever so sweet mother bringing me strawberries and cream and there being a little bit of wine left in my fridge.

I thought to myself what I’m sure everybody thought to themselves this morning.
Quick straight setter from Fed, then hellooo Roddick.
You thought that, right? Wrong.
Alejandro Falla gave me an excruciating glimpse at what could have been the greatest, most wonderful, most unbelievable start to a Wimbledon Championships in a very long time. Definitely in my lifetime, at least. Or my tennis lifetime, at very least. A long time anyway, you get the picture.
I got very overexcited, very stressed and a little bit drunk, but Falla, as impressive as he was today, couldn’t make the points against Federer when it mattered most (remind you of anybody…?) and despite originally being two sets to love down, Federer took the set in five. Uncool, R-Fedz*, uncool.

Daaaang, son.

The Roddick match was much less terrifying, and the boy won in straight sets against fellow American Rajeev Ram. Commentators were Andrew Castle and John Lloyd, and this brought something to my attention. Some people seem to have a problem with Castle. Why? What did he do that I missed? His impression of Steve Ulrich (often confused with Lars Ulrich, drummer of Metallica) was beautiful, I’ve always wanted to do one but you can’t do it in type, it’s all in the tone.

“Ram challenges the call…”
“Bitch please, don’t question me.”

“Gaaaaame, Roooddick”
“Gaaaaame, Roooddick, obbbbviously”

And it really was obvious. The match basically consisted of Ram sighing and Roddick strutting back to the baseline before the return ball even lands back on the court, emphasising how completely pathetic it would be to even consider that the ball would be in when it does land.

He next faces another favourite of mine, Llodra. But I swear to god, if he even takes a set off Roddick, he’s going down.


Robert Kendrick vs. Jo Wilfried Tsonga
I haven’t seen the Frenchie in a very long time, I hope I still adore him. I’m pretty sure I will.

Gilles Simon vs. Guillermo Alcaide
I have indeed seen this Frenchie recently, and I do indeed still adore him.

Kristof Vliegen vs. JULIEN BENNETEAU
On an infuriatingly untelevised court. I will be watching the scores without blinking. He has to win, he has to get on TV, I must watch at least ONE of his matches. Came so goddamn close at Wimbledon. Well, no, I didn’t, since I missed the doubles due to a family barbecue, but whatever. It’s the principle.

Hi, I’m Christina and I love the French.

*Credit to my friend Emma for coming up with R-Fedz.

Are Obamicons still funny?

June 21, 2010

So I guess I got my hopes up a little when making this

But it’s okay because now I can do this

Hello, Wimbledon.

June 21, 2010

Can you think of a better way to spend your day? Oh yeah, if it wasn't Federer on that TV screen.

12 hours to go. Roughly.

June 21, 2010

It’s finally time. Wimbledon 2010 is upon us, and although I’m still not officially (or at all) over what happened in last year’s final, I am still literally shaking with excitement.
Well, not literally, but near enough.

Oh fuck.

Years ago, I was a young teen who for some reason was watching Wimbledon, with absolutely no interest in tennis. Until Mark Philippoussis. Did I spell that right? Kudos if I did, whatever if I didn’t. Somebody beat him, then the following year, he was gone. I didn’t know where he went, but I didn’t care, because who on earth was this handsome fella? Oh it was only our favourite American boy, Andy Roddick. He did pretty well that year if I remember correctly, it was in his little semi final run. I kept following him, only through Wimbledon each year. Then I started liking more players, and then I started watching more tournaments, and now here I am, twenty one years of age, writing a goddamn tennis blog.

#offtopic I just moved my laptop from off my lap to reveal the cup of tea I made long enough ago for me to have completely forgotten about it, but recently enough for it to still be warm enough to drink.
It’s going to be a good week.

I don’t really have anything to say about Wimbledon to be honest. I’ve never been one to look at draws, see what possible matches are, see what chances my favourite players have of winning… it’s just too much effort. As long as I have a beer in my hand and plenty of snacks within reaching distance, and either Roddick or absolutely anybody born in France on my television, I’ll be happy.

Wimbledon 2010, bring it.

So I guess once there’s actual tennis to talk about, my posts will be a bit more interesting/relevant.

Still pictures taken from moving pictures.

June 12, 2010

Err, that looks like it says 'HOLE', mate.

Melo and Mahut, checking their Twitters.

Nice lounge. NOT! LOL

Check Llodra creepin' in the background.

AEGON Championships/ Is a shambles.

June 12, 2010

Who needs seeds anyway? They just get stuck in your teeth and… I’m sure there’s a joke in there somewhere, but I’m too tired. The past couple of days have been exhausting.
Mentally, not physically, considering I haven’t moved from the couch.

I woke up yesterday morning with the song “Waake up it’s a beauutiful moornin'” in my head. Is it? IS IT?
I think I was too confident, too cocky, I hyped up the day and it bit me in the ass. I made my tea and got biscuits ready, waiting for Roddick to walk on court. He took his sweet time though, so I ended up having to microwave my tea by the time he actually arrived. In waiting for him, I witnessed the new Gillette advert featuring our very own Roger Federer, and I inhaled a little bit of my tea in laughing.

“*85% of 68 men agree”

That’s the start of a bestseller right there, Fed. Y’know, if the tennis thing doesn’t work out for you.

To be honest, most of my joys from yesterday came from off the court. Eurosport has given me the delightful Henri Leconte, who is so gloriously French it hurts. Roger Rasheed also gave a little interview in which he mainly talked about Hewitt, which frankly was just boring. Although he did remind me of Hewitt’s oddly small stature, always a bonus.

Roddick started, then some stuff happened, and then it was over.
I’m pretty sure I found Rachael within like two games though, which was fun.

You're a dick, Sela. (Rachael's top middle, I'm pretty sure.)

Benneteau walked on court, and then some stuff happened, and then it was over.

I don’t want to sound overdramatic, but I don’t want to talk about it.

I’ve quite enjoyed the absolute destruction of the top seeds (with the absolute exception of Andy Roddick, obviously), as many people have said, it makes the tournament more interesting. But, that’s only if the players that are left are interesting. I’m not much of a fan of everyone who’s left. Querrey’s lovely but I’ve never been a huge fan, same with Fish. Schuettler is a fantastic player but, well, let’s face it, I’d probably like him much more if he looked more like Horia Tecau and less like, well, Rainer Schuettler.

Two days left, I cannot believe there are only three singles matches over. Ideally, I want an all American final, and the mens doubles better include Benneteau and Llodra, or shit’s gonna go down.