I do love a good approach shot.

Well the day started off well, with my ever so sweet mother bringing me strawberries and cream and there being a little bit of wine left in my fridge.

I thought to myself what I’m sure everybody thought to themselves this morning.
“Quick straight setter from Fed, then hellooo Roddick.”
You thought that, right? Wrong.
Alejandro Falla gave me an excruciating glimpse at what could have been the greatest, most wonderful, most unbelievable start to a Wimbledon Championships in a very long time. Definitely in my lifetime, at least. Or my tennis lifetime, at very least. A long time anyway, you get the picture.
I got very overexcited, very stressed and a little bit drunk, but Falla, as impressive as he was today, couldn’t make the points against Federer when it mattered most (remind you of anybody…?) and despite originally being two sets to love down, Federer took the set in five. Uncool, R-Fedz*, uncool.

Daaaang, son.

The Roddick match was much less terrifying, and the boy won in straight sets against fellow American Rajeev Ram. Commentators were Andrew Castle and John Lloyd, and this brought something to my attention. Some people seem to have a problem with Castle. Why? What did he do that I missed? His impression of Steve Ulrich (often confused with Lars Ulrich, drummer of Metallica) was beautiful, I’ve always wanted to do one but you can’t do it in type, it’s all in the tone.

“Ram challenges the call…”
means
“Bitch please, don’t question me.”

“Gaaaaame, Roooddick”
means
“Gaaaaame, Roooddick, obbbbviously”

And it really was obvious. The match basically consisted of Ram sighing and Roddick strutting back to the baseline before the return ball even lands back on the court, emphasising how completely pathetic it would be to even consider that the ball would be in when it does land.

He next faces another favourite of mine, Llodra. But I swear to god, if he even takes a set off Roddick, he’s going down.

TOMORROW’S ABSOLUTE DO NOT MISS HIGHLIGHTS YOU WOULD BE A FOOL TO MISS THEM, A FOOL!

Robert Kendrick vs. Jo Wilfried Tsonga
I haven’t seen the Frenchie in a very long time, I hope I still adore him. I’m pretty sure I will.

Gilles Simon vs. Guillermo Alcaide
I have indeed seen this Frenchie recently, and I do indeed still adore him.

Kristof Vliegen vs. JULIEN BENNETEAU
On an infuriatingly untelevised court. I will be watching the scores without blinking. He has to win, he has to get on TV, I must watch at least ONE of his matches. Came so goddamn close at Wimbledon. Well, no, I didn’t, since I missed the doubles due to a family barbecue, but whatever. It’s the principle.

Hi, I’m Christina and I love the French.

*Credit to my friend Emma for coming up with R-Fedz.